Dear Dad
“A good father will leave his imprint on his daughter,
for the rest of her life.”
– Dr. James Dobson
My darling dad,
You inspired me to travel the world.
You started your aircraft engineering career in the RAF, which took you to Hyderabad, Muscat and Bahrain. As I child I would naughtily tip out your ‘house of coins’, a many tiered, teak house, that you had filled with coins. I would play with the coins and ask you about your times in Asia and the Middle East. Later, we would live and work there too.
You moved to Hawker Siddeley, Surrey, a company engaged in aircraft production. And you went on to work in the engineering team for Britain’s national carrier. Some weekends, you would take me to Heathrow, and the two of us would watch the aircraft taking off. A significant development in aerospace engineering came in 1976, with the development of the first passenger supersonic aircraft, the Concorde. I was so excited to attend the launch with you.
Every time I see a plane, I will think of you.
I remember the poster you bought me as a teenager. The image depicted a street of ordinary grey houses in a row. One house dared to be different, with a brightly painted lilac roof. The message was clear; don’t follow the crowd. You often said to me “if your friend is going to jump off a cliff, will you follow?” It was one of many lessons you taught me; ‘Be yourself in a world that tries to make you like everyone else’. You shaped me.
When I moved back to London from university, I returned to Wimbledon, to be close to you. It was straight time; work, mortgage, repeat. I was never destined for straight time. You retired to Northampton. We moved to Zambia.
In the years that followed, you were a continuous support, ever encouraging.
We worked for an NGO, training teachers in a bush town. There were many challenges. When we spoke with you about it, you were always supportive. You shared your own thinking on the world, poverty and vested interests. You always had a strong interest in politics.
That first Christmas in Africa, you travelled to meet us in Cape Town. I saw how much you loved the Mother City. Over Christmas and New Years, we all toured the Western Cape together. You feasted on game; Ostrich, Springbok, Kudu, all washed down with plenty of Pinotage.
I remember you researching the idea of buying property there, for winter sun. You particularly liked the historic naval town of Simons Town. You arranged a tour of a navy ship and we all visited the cute Jackass penguins at Boulder’s Beach nearby.
Every African penguin, every time we go to Simons Town, I will think of you.
We flew to Durban together. We travelled out to the Valley of a Thousand Hills. We went on safari, and saw wonderful wildlife together.
Some years later we move back to UK, to Liverpool, a traveller’s town. You encouraged us with every decision and all the change that we quickly put in place. You celebrated our new home at a housewarming. And so began a few years of visits to eachother and sometimes “let’s meet in the middle”, at a little place by a pond in Staffordshire.
We attended a job fair one weekend. Contracts came the next day, at an international school. It was all unexpected. We called you; “we have news”. Your reaction was completely as expected “Go for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained”. You always pushed me to live more. You recalled a few tales of your time in the Gulf. You were so excited for us. And when we were there, we retraced your footsteps, travelling to both Bahrain and Muscat.
You visited us twice in Dubai. For your 50th wedding anniversary, we bought you both air tickets as your present. I told the airline it was an anniversary celebration and you were upgraded to first class, with your own private cubicles. You were delighted and kept saying afterwards “Meg, I had my own little bar and a bed. Such luxury”. I remember us in the desert; watching the sunset, smoking shisha and riding a camel with my mother. And you, as always, were happiest with a tub of ice cream. Our favourite, pistachio.
Every ice cream, I will think of you.
We travelled to Chennai together. I was guided by you. We negotiated busy sidewalks. You took us to markets and jewellers. You wanted to buy me something. I selected simple white gold pieces, amongst the bling.
Every time I wear them, I will think of you.
In recent years our travel together was more regional, frequent drives out to an old coaching inn, a surprise trip to a secret destination in Oxfordshire and just last year, a few days away together in Cambridgeshire. Our suites backed onto the River Great Ouse near Ely. I can still picture your smiling face, out on your deck, watching the boats passing by. We made it all a special celebration. You were so happy. We all were. You thanked us for the trip at least a dozen times. You didn’t need to. And this photo of us together, turned out to be our last.
Every time I look at it, I will think of you.
And it’s those memories that we will treasure now. When you live away from each other, meeting up is always an occasion and a celebration. I’m thankful now for all the times that we were able to give back to you and take you away. Sometimes we shared a few days together, sometimes a few weeks but they were always special times.
It’s quite something to go through life and always have someone that is in your corner. You were that person, Dad. You always wanted the best for us. You were always interested in our next adventure.
You helped me to see the world differently. My wanderlust, my quest to experience more, comes from you. You worked hard to build a better life in different countries. We have done the same.
We’ve received so many encouraging e mails, cards and letters from you over the years. I have kept them all. And I will forever hear your words; “Hello my darling daughter”, “go for it”, “use your brainbox Meg”, “happy landings”, “make the most of every day”, “enjoy life”, “keep smiling”.
My darling Dad, you had a generous heart. You were loved so much. And we will miss you always.
Who inspired you to travel the world?
© Maggie M/ Mother City Time
Maggie! What a wonderful piece. It brought tears to my eyes, of both sadness and happiness. The sad for your loss of such and inspiring and wonderful man but also the happy that you have such wonderful memories that no one can ever take away of the wonderful times you shared together.
I will always remember your dad as a kind and gentle man with a soft voice who was always warm and welcoming to me and my family.
You are amoungest the rich with a lifetime of of memories to treasure and retrieve when you are feeling low.
Your Dad’s encouragement and support has helped you to live a life rich in experiences that few of us every have the courage to create.
I will think of him often and of you to my friend. We may not have seen each other in almost 30 years but you will always be an inspiration to me.
Much love to you always, until we meet again xxxx
Hi Colleen, Thanks for your beautiful words. You are so right, my dad was such a kind and gentle man, so big hearted. There are so many memories, which are flooding back to me now. Dad’s encouragement was limitless. He just wanted us to fly in life, to “go for it”. I feel fortunate to have had such an amazing person in my life for 50 years. As for us, many friendships remain, even when we don’t see each other. We will meet my friend. Sending love.
Beautiful, Maggie. I feel your father by your side at every step of this journey through memories. There is really no greater wealth is there, than the sharing of blessed moments with loved ones?
A wonderful tribute , not only to your Dad, but to the relationship you had. He must have been so proud of you. I adored my dad too,and the way you describe the kind of unconditional love and support he gave you is so familiar. So reading this put me back in touch with all my own feelings of love and loss. Take care of yourself in this crazy world. xx
My dear friend,
This beautiful dedication to your amazing dad touched my heart very, very deeply. What a wonderful photo, and what precious memories to treasure forever. While I never got to meet your dad, I feel as though I know him through you. As you honour his memory, continue to live each day with joie de vivre and with the kind, open heart you have inherited from him. I have no doubt he was (and still is) immensely proud to call you his daughter. The love and the bond you shared will always be there.
You have been such an incredible support to me, and I would like to thank you for everything, my friend. Your genuine concern and kindness have meant the world to me. Last year shook me in ways I could never have imagined. Losing my precious mom broke my heart into a million pieces. I can so relate to your pain right now. Thank you so much for being there for me. My only hope is that I have been able to do the same for you. I am so heartbroken for you, too…
To answer your question, it was my dear mom who inspired me to travel, just as your dad inspired you. In fact, she was with me on my first trip abroad (to Portugal) back in 1995, and I have such beautiful memories of that experience. In 2007, she saw me off at the airport when I embarked on the journey of a lifetime to Venezuela. In fact, the photo I chose for her casket last year was one that I took of her just before jetting off to Caracas. She looked so lovely that day with her unmistakable, always sincere smile… In 2012 and 2014, she beamed with pride when I had the opportunity to travel to Paris as a competitor in the world championships for ballroom dancing. I so wished she could see Paris with me someday. She would have loved it there. One of the places I know she would have enjoyed the most is the Notre-Dame. When the cathedral caught fire last April, it really hit me hard. I bought a special gift for my mom while I was there in 2014, which she absolutely loved and treasured. She was such an inspiration to me over the years…
Sending all my love to you! I am always here if you need a friend, and I look forward to our Kirstenbosch date someday very, very soon! Thank you for sharing this post and your heart, and thank you for your ongoing friendship and support. May your dad always rest in peace, lovely. I’m sure his soul and my mom’s have already connected on the other side, and they are both looking at us with so much love. Thinking of you…
Thank you Laure. And thank you for reaching out to my lovely mum in recent days. The memories are the greatest comfort at the moment. Sending love.
Thank you Nina, for you kind words. I remember your message to me, in the first few days after I lost my darling dad. You are so right. I will think of him every day for the rest of my life, and with so much love, because he was one of a kind. We feel the loss so much already. My Dad was the first person that I wanted to talk to about the Coronavirus and going into quarantine. There was so much unconditional love and support, no words of criticism or telling you how to live, just encouragement. He was such a force in my life. I’m happy that my words helped you reconnect with your own feelings of love for your special dad. I guess the feeling of loss never goes. You take care too. Enjoy every day.
It took me a day to read this, every time I began a lump would form in my throat and the tears would begin to flow. Today I decided it didn’t matter if I cried, each tear a little prayer for Papa Panda and for you. You are your father’s daughter. Even without ever having met him, I know him. He lives on in you, in your memories, your stories, your smile. In every picture, place or pair of earrings. May you always think of Papa Panda and smile even if it is through tears.
This was most certainly a fitting tribute to an amazing man. Well done Panda. I love you.
Hanan, I know that this piece must have made you think of those you have lost too. Everyone tells you “it’s part of life” but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. I’m crying reading your response and thinking of all the love, care and friendship you have shown me in recent weeks (well, always) I wish you had met ‘Papa Panda’ but without doubt, I am like him in many ways. Thank you for being part of the traveller’s tales that I shared with him. He was so interested in Kenya and had been reading about it, travelling vicariously through us. My cheek, my mischief and my wanderlust will continue, in honour of my dad.
Oh Maggie,
The bond between you and your dad is really something else.
His face would light up every time your name was mentioned and he was filled with pride every time he talked about you and your travels.
He was so so pleased that you and I reconnected after 30 something years.
Thanks to our travels we were able to spend time together in Sydney, Singapore, Jakarta and sadly Northampton where we had to say goodbye to him.
I will always remember him as my Uncle Harry who greeted me with that cheeky smile, was always interested in my plans for the future and always wished me well.
The last time I remember seeing that smile was when he waved goodbye to me in 2016 through the lounge room window at 128.
Your travel stories have always inspired and encouraged me.
Take care cousin.
Sending you lots of love and hugs.
Mike, thank you for your beautiful words. Your friendship has meant so much to me and I cannot thank you enough for all the support that you have shown me in recent weeks. I have felt so much love and support across the miles. I know that it has brought back feelings of your own loss, which is so recent too.
Yes, it is a wonderful photo of such a happy time. I couldn’t have imagined then, that it would be the last photo taken of my dad and I together. We had proposed the idea of that trip to my parents and they had discussed it and agreed to travel together. I’m so thankful for that now. It is how I will remember my dad; enjoying the fresh air, sipping warm coffee, watching the boats pass by his deck, sipping Prosecco together, toasting my forthcoming big birthday and their 60th anniversary and more than anything else, just being happy to spend a few days away together. These memories are such a comfort now.
I remember you saying to me a few weeks ago to put photos up. I still have up all the photo cards I had made my dad. We look at them every day and that too is a huge comfort. I keep looking at his smiling face, and that in turn makes me smile.
We will continue to live each day fully, as much as any of us can in this crazy time with the virus. For now I can take long walks in this beautiful place and think of my dad. In the future there will be trips to connect with memories of him. When we are back in SA, one of the the first places I will want to go to will be Kirstenbosch. I know how much you love it there too. The first time that we went to Kirstenbosch was with my parents. We had packed a picnic to share together. But it was one of those balmy hot days in December and we just about managed to walk in, cross the little bridge and park ourselves on our picnic rug and gaze up at Table Mountain. My dad admired the King Proteas and Mandela’s Gold. Like you, he was a keen gardener, with a particular love of red roses.
It is an amazing thing that it was your mom who inspired you to travel, just as my dad inspired me. Travel is such a tonic, it gives you such confidence. And they are unique memories. We have a Portuguese connection on my Dad’s side, which I have always wanted to learn more about. Growing up in London in the 1970s, we were one of just five Miranda families. When we visited Portugal about 15 years ago, something compelled me to look in the phone book! And there I found pages and pages of Mirandas. Amongst my dad’s papers, I found a small handwritten note, where Dad had written notes on Vasco Da Gama and Bartolomeu Dias’ discovery, I’m guessing after his visit to Cape Town. It reads “Vasco Da Gama ventured…sighting on 25th Dec 1497, he named it NATAL in honour of Christmas Day. In a matter of weeks he reached what is now GOA on the West Coast of India….It took the Portuguese 70 years to work their way down the African coast, from the Canary Islands to to The Cape. It took Vasco Da Gama 23 days to go from Africa to India”. My dad was always interested in history, politics and travel. He loved to read. When we took him to Cape Point, he read about the history of the explorers there. And together we visited the Vasco Da Gama Cross. I will continue to research this history and think of him when we return to Cape Point.
I don’t think that anything prepares you for the loss of a parent. You and I have lost two very special people. We will remember them both with love, when we meet in Kirstenbosch. I’ll bring the bubbles, Lovely! I am so glad that we have been able to support each other through this. Always feel that you can reach out to talk to me abut your mum. We must continue to talk about them, it’s so important. Hold on to those special memories of your mum. It sounds like she was a wonderful, encouraging parent too. And she would have been proud of her wonderful son.
Sending big love, Maggie
My beautiful cousin,
Thank you for your wonderful words which give me comfort at this time. Thank you again for all the messages of support that you’ve sent and the big, big hugs. It meant so much that you travelled from Singapore for the funeral. Dad would have been chuffed that you made that effort. I loved him deeply. So much of who I am is because of him. We will all miss that warm, cheeky smile. As you say, he was always interested in our plans for the future and wanted us to aspire to more in life.
It was wonderful to read that you saw his face light up, every time my name was mentioned. It’s lovely to think of him being so proud of me. It’s easy to go for it in life, when you have someone who believes in you so much. He instilled so much confidence in me. At home I have a stunning travel book that both my parents wrote in. I want to re-read all those messages, cards and letters.
I know he was delighted that we were together in Sydney and Singapore and he always asked after you Carmel. It’s great that you were able to Skype with him, when we were all together in Jakarta. I know you said that was the last time that you got to talk to him, just before we left Indonesia. I will miss hearing his voice but I can hear his words in my head.
You’re kind to say that our travel stories have always inspired and encouraged you. That’s fantastic. Keep enjoying life in Singapore. We will meet Lovely.
Big love,
Maggie
Beautiful words for a life full of joy and wisdom. I am sure he will Always be present in every step you take. You will keep applying all the knowledge he transmitted to you about life. He is in a better place for sure! ❤️🌹❤️
Dearest Maggie,
Such lovely writing about you and your Dad. Many memories of trips we have made together and meeting your parents in different places. I remember the Cape Town Christmas when we got the last turkey in the supermarket and your Dad stayed up slicing it up into pieces and marinading it in some hot barbecue source. We had an amazing dinner on the deck and in the sun looking out to Robben Island. It summed up your Dad, always putting others first and loving seeing them happy. I was happy of course because I had a stack of Guinness to get through, which I did.
Harry had a lot of stories but as he got older he either forgot them or stopped telling them. I remember in the bar at Oak Lodge, we had a great chinwag about his Hyderabad times and how he had seen dead bodies floating down the river but I can´t remember the conflict. He had really lived and really seen things. He told me too to accept there will always be poor people, which the elders need to do for the idealistic youngsters. Like a lot of things, he was quietly right. Who can forget how excited he got to go on the S.A. navy ship in Simon´s Town? His conclusion on Cape Town was that they had a very good setup down there.
He was a gentleman but not the last one because I still hold those things dear too. He had manners but I think he valued hard work more and perhaps we reflect a little of his just get on with it attitude. I loved him and will miss his gentle encouragement of our adventures. It seems few people understand what we are trying to do but he did and he respected us enough to let us sort it out ourselves. He was wise because if I don´t like your advice I am not going to listen anyway, though I will be polite. It is sad not to have him there in our corner but I think he helped us get far enough that we made it anyway. Thanks, Harry for everything you did for us. Have a sweet rest.
A beautiful piece Maggie and so readable! I very much enjoyed reading about all the wonderful travels and trips you were lucky enough to share with your dad. You will miss him so much but you have so many amazing memories and your love for him shines out from every one! Thank you for sharing them with us. Xxx
Hi Ceri. Thanks for your kind words. I know that you have also experienced so much loss in the last year. It is super hard. I feel so lucky to have had such a special person in my life for 50 years. I couldn’t have asked for a better dad. As you say, many amazing memories. Sending love.
From my ‘Daddy Cool’ to ‘Mr Cool’ as Dad used to call you. Thank you Kieran for sharing your thoughts and memories of someone who was dear to us both. There are so many memories of trips we made together. That first Cape Christmas was wonderful. I had forgotten about Dad staying up half the night, to marinade the meat for the braai. Christmas Day was so special, with that beautiful view of the harbour, my mum and I sipping cool Amarula and Dad busy on the BBQ. It was a perfect, relaxed Christmas together.
I remember you commenting on how thoughtful my dad was, many times. When we moved back from Japan, another time in limbo for us, Dad sent me a fax (back in the day) re-assuring me about the move back. He went out and bought us a bed, so we had a place to stay. And he hung on to his car for us, so that we had wheels. He knew that we would face challenges being in limbo, and he tried to help us, in many ways.
Who could forget the apple tree episode?! When we shared our news about the contracts in UAE, it was another celebration together. Dad was so excited for us. Then when we said goodbye in the car park, Dad said “hang on, I have something for you”. What did he pull out of his car? An apple tree! My darling dad, always generous. I remember us driving back to Liverpool, with the apple tree balanced down the middle of the car, above the hand break. And then planting it in the pouring rain when we got home. And it thrived!
Thank you for all the times that you took us all on long drives into beautiful countryside, in different parts of the world. Dad always used to love that and would say it was such a luxury to be driven around. I can picture you both together, in so many places, having a good chat. He loved you too. You had a special relationship, with mutual respect. Two gentlemen. I loved my dad’s traveller’s tales. He had many stories, because he had experienced so much, in different countries. We have tried to do the same, with his encouragement. And we must continue to make the most of every day and enjoy life, as he always told us to.
Hey Maggie, that’s a lovely tribute to your dad. It’s such a great reminder that the people we lose don’t really go away because they’re so much part of us, in every aeroplane, every ice cream. I hope someone says something as generous about me when I’m no longer here to read it.
Lots of love
SV
Hi Steve. Thanks for your words. It’s super hard, no? We are left remembering our special ones with love and so thankful that they were a part of our lives. As you say, the people we lose, don’t really go away because they’re so much a part of us. I told my dad frequently that he was VIP to me, so there is no doubt there that he knew how important he was to me. Our friendship is important to me too, so I will have a go at some special words about you and share them over nshima sometime. You should hear them!
Sending lots of love to you too
M
I was very touched by the stories I read on your web page. I have been thinking about your story and what inspired me to travel. I remember that from the age of about 5 years old, every year my mum and dad took Stuart and I on holiday with Barbara and Stan. The package holiday was coming into existence, to destinations such as Majorca, Portugal and the Greek islands and I have such fond memories of these times. I guess this gave me the experience and the confidence to want to travel further. Mid eighties my parents sold up and moved to Spain for three years. I spent a year of that time out there, and quite a few holidays during the remaining 2 years. Five years after leaving college, I decided to return to uni to complete a hospitality management degree. Of course this was geared towards travel, tourism and hospitality and the opportunities that came, also all the people that I met, opened up a network of potential travel destinations! After about 2 and a half years of working/travelling and ringing my parents from bizarre locations! (and recovering from a fairly serious accident) I applied for a job at a certain hotel, and met a kindred spirit….. and the rest is 24 years of history!!
Hi Sarah. I’m glad that you enjoyed reading the piece on the blog. I liked reading about your travels with your parents and family, precious memories for you too now. When we met, you were one of only a few friends who had ever lived somewhere else. I was always interested in your traveller’s tales from your QE2 days. You were able to see so much of the world with your work too. You definitely played a part in inspiring us to go off and do the same when we went to Zambia. And we were delighted that you came out to visit us…such an incredible trip together across Zambia and into Zimbabwe. Our trip up to that game at Villa Park was one of the best ever away football matches! And we’ve travelled to Amsterdam and Paris together too. The S&M World Tour may be currently on hold but I look forward to future trips together. I’m so glad that you applied for that job at that 5* hotel in London. Here’s to a 5* friendship.
Maggie, this is absolutely beautiful and poignant. It has me filled with joyful tears! What a wonderful wonderful man. In a selfish way perhaps, I kept thinking to myself, “Wow, I really want to be this kind of parent!” It is a stunning tribute and you have done him proud xxx
He was a wonderful man and as you can imagine, I had tears pouring down my face writing it. To raise a child to be fearless, with a lust for life, is an amazing gift. I have no doubt that you are that kind of parent; instilling confidence in your kids to experience the world, to take risks and to fly. Thank you for your comment Davina.
Dearest Maggie,
I have tried writing this a few times and each time the tears well up and I have to catch my breath
The photo took me by surprise. I haven’t seen your Dad in a long while, but he looked just the same, a few extra laughter lines etched smoothly on his face, but it is the quiet gentleness that he has about him, that resonates out. The hint of a smile, full of love for you and contentment, that makes me imagine you as a young child, tipping out your Dad’s coin collection and questioning him about his travels and him quietly saying to himself “she is young and inquisitive, oh my we are going to have some fun !” Fun in abundance is what you had. He had found an eager, captive audience in you, in which to share his stories of far flung lands and encourage the explorer in you, that stretched way past your childhood.
From those early days when we were so young and thought we knew everything, your Dad was always a calming influence on you. I remember him always making me feel so welcome, even one Christmas as my parents were away. He was super chilled as teenagers nowadays might say. We were only teenagers ourselves, perhaps we used the phrase ” soo cool “. I never heard him raise his voice, or get angry with you and I don’t remember you ever saying a bad word about him. You had this confidence that dreams were to be followed and achieved, that you could accomplish anything you set your mind to, that comes from having the encouragement and never-ending support of a parent. It is truly a special relationship that the two of you had and it is clear in the way you talk about your Dad and the times you spent together, making time for each other, sharing experiences together, that will stay with you and help carry you through this most difficult time.
Throughout your life, your Dad has been a constant anchor, the loving way you talk about him, his generosity, encouragement and support lives in you and you always give that to others. The lessons he taught you, you have taught to others. His kindness and understanding, he passed onto you. You are one of the most generous, encouraging, supportive, kind, understanding, loving people I have ever met. Your optimism in life, your continued eagerness to learn new things, to go to new places, to experience different ways of life, are in lots of ways down to your Dad. The stories he shared with you, when you were just a young child, lit a light in you for adventure, a light that still shines on and will continue to do so in your memories of him.
It was lovely that you were able to give back to your Dad. Through the magic of travelling you got to share some of the experiences Kieran and you created for yourselves, and I say created because it was the drive you had to go after something, create your opportunities and grasp with both hands, these were the lessons your Dad had taught you. How wonderful that your Dad and Kieran got on so well, that made the experiences together so special. And how wonderful that you have Kieran to share those memories with. It is ok to laugh, smile, sob your heart out, as you remember him. There is no routine for grief, as you both know.
The words you have written come straight from your heart and you are so proud of him, as he was, I’m sure of you. The loss of a parent, or anyone so close to you, is unimaginable and are difficult to put into words, but you have done so with such love, joy and appreciation of everything he did for you and will continue to do for you. In each memory, in each quote, in each heartbreaking moment, remember the encouragement he gave you. As Kieran says “it is sad not to have him there in our corner, but I think he helped us get far enough, that we made it anyway”. Imagine him still in your corner, he is just letting you fly freely.
As your Dad taught you, be that brightly painted lilac roof in a midst of grey, continue to be yourself in a world that tries to make you like everyone else, remember the times in Dubai, Cape Town, Cambridge, meeting halfway for a pub lunch, wear the jewellery he bought you in Chennai, enjoy pistachio ice-cream and look at every photo, card and letter with the joyous memories you have. Your Dad wouldn’t have taught you any other way!
Remembering Your Dad fondly and feel priviledged to have met him.
With Much Love,
Megan xxx
Thanks so much Megan for your beautiful words.
Thank you for reminding me of those teenage years. I had forgotten that Christmas Day that we shared. Dad was insistent that you join us and not be alone on Christmas Day. He always had such a generous heart. He would have bought in some Southern Comfort for the occasion! He always asked after you Megan and he enjoyed your lively, positive energy. You are right, I never had a bad word to say about my dad because he gave me the freedom to be me. And he encouraged me to live a bold and interesting life. I’m remembering now a time in high school, when I took a parent permission letter home to go kayaking. As part of the training, we had to learn how to capsize the thing and turn 360 degrees in the water. My mum asked me why did I want to do this?! And my dad took the letter and signed it straight away, saying I should try it, I’d be fine. Lessons like that made me so fearless. I’ve never been bothered about failing at anything. The most important thing was always to have a go. And as Dad said to me repeatedly “nothing ventured, nothing gained”.
I’m so thankful for the confidence instilled in me, to make dreams happen. He always wanted to hear about our plans and he would just smile, knowing that with every new idea, we were going to work to make it happen. I think my dad would have been genuinely disappointed if we had chosen to do anything ‘ordinary’. I’m just not wired that way.
That belief that we can accomplish anything we set out to do now, comes from having a kindred spirit to share my life with. Do you remember the proverb at our wedding? “Spiders webs can unite, to tie up a lion”. Together Kieran and I are very strong. But definitely having the courage to live differently and to take risks in life, comes from the encouragement of a parent who doesn’t tell you to think small and tow the line. I love that way of describing my dad as a constant anchor. Without doubt, his support and encouragement was consistent. I cannot remember him ever saying to me “what if” or “what are you going to do when.” He didn’t present potential problems or ever make me doubt myself. He trusted me implicitly to make a plan and make it work.
My dad was unfailingly generous, encouraging and supportive and I do hope that is what I learned to give to those who are close to us. And that has come back to me in recent weeks, being surrounded by the love and support of so many special people. You are a generous, encouraging, supportive, kind and understanding friend Megan. I know that when we meet up again, it will be just the same with us. We carry good people in our hearts our whole lives, wherever we are.
We are not ever going to follow the crowd and settle for ordinary. Like my dad, you have always encouraged us to live on our own terms too. You gave us that card, which we still have, that reads “be yourself, in a world that tries to make you like everyone else”. I’m tired of trying to explain our life choices to some, who expect us to live like them, but I will never tire of living richly, rather than pursuing material things. I owe my love of travel and my quest to live a full and interesting life to my darling dad. Absolutely, he nurtured the explorer in me as a child, with his travellers tales. We switched places as he got older. In more recent it years, we were the ones sharing our stories of other countries and cultures. I doubt that the curiosity that I have for other places will ever wane. As you say, he lit a light in me for adventure, and that light will shine on, as we continue to experience so much of the world.
Thank you for taking the time to write your thoughtful message.
Big love always
M
That was a beautiful tribute to your dad and a a great testament to his influence on you Maggie. We will have to meet up someday and have a Castel in his memory
Thank you Victor. I can see that you are a great dad too and will have a positive influence on your son. I look forward to that Castel!
SK
I only just saw this. Thank you for your kind words. He had a huge heart, just like you. Sending big love.
Maggie, I read your letter to your dad and had my second welling of tears … so profound, so deeply written. We cherish our fathers, they chartered the way for us, they encouraged us to view our possibilities as limitless. We are grateful for the time we shared with them and we carry them with us in our hearts as we journey on. Ahsante rafiki.
Rose, I had the same reaction reading your beautiful tribute to your dear father. Truly, “A good father will leave his imprint on his daughter, for the rest of her life.” Your words, written with such feeling, all these years after you lost him, is testimony to what a fine father you had. We were the lucky ones. I’m mindful that not everyone gets to have such a special dad, such a force in their life. I cannot imagine a day passing where I do not think of my dad and as you say, we carry them in our hearts. Take care in these crazy times. And thanks for taking time to comment.
Maggie..this pic of the two of you says it all.
The love, the mutual respect and the depth of your connection.
How lucky you are to have known such a wonderful man and to have had him as your father.
There were so many details that stood out for me when I was reading this, but the one that stands out over and over, is his incredible support in all your decisions and his unwavering belief in his daughter.
Was so moving to read these heartfelt words celebrating a fabulous man, whose life experience is like the full colour spectrum of the rainbow. Speaks volumes of the incredible woman you are and the pathway you have carved for yourself fulfilling a life you love and the wisdom and love of your father like a beacon of light, illuminating your way.
May your path continue to shine bright, now and always..xx
Paula, thank you so much for your beautiful words and, as always, a brilliant perspective on life. There are days when I think like this, that I was lucky to have had such a great dad. And there are other days when I just feel the loss, that someone so great has gone. I guess this is grief and it is a process. We all need someone who believes in us and encourages us, no matter what. That was my dad. I wish he could see the life that we are building for ourselves now. But as so many people remind me, he was not only was a huge influence on me but he lives on in me now. I often find myself doing or saying something, then thinking “I am my father’s daughter”. I’m still thinking about what you wrote the other day, about living correctly, the ‘should dos’. My darling dad gave me the confidence to reject it all. So we will continue to live life on our terms and follow a unique path. I know that you do the same. Many others will not understand and that’s O.K. Stay well and happy. Paula. Thank you again for your comment.
Hi Maggie, I met your dad twice only in 2015 and again in 2017. I saw him as a quiet, gentle and softly spoken gentleman who allowed us woman to chatter away. I had no idea of what an interesting man he was. You have allowed us to know him through your tribute what a wonderful and interesting man and dad he was. Thank you. Amyxo
Hi Amy,
Sorry, I only saw this now.
When I was a child, and tagged along to the Baldwin re-union dinner dances, my dad was the life and soul of the party. He always had a lot of stories and so much life experience. He inspired me to live my life fully too. As he got older my darling dad would often step back and as you say, let the women chatter away. I’m glad that you enjoyed reading this tribute. He was a truly wonderful man and I miss him every day.
Thanks so much for your comment, Amy.