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Time and Mistletoe

‘A family tie is like a tree, it can bend but it cannot break’ 

African proverb

We have been lucky to enjoy Christmas in many places. One of our happiest ones was shared with my parents when we first went to Cape Town 16 years ago. It was our first Southern Hemisphere Christmas. My dad diligently defrosted the last frozen turkey from the supermarket, he marinated it in the wee hours of the night and then morphed into our braai master the next day. We feasted on BBQ-ed delights, enjoyed a bit too much Western Cape wine and snoozed happily in the sunshine. It was a perfect, relaxed family Christmas.

The following Christmas, after two years of living in Zambia and South Africa, we were visiting friends and families in U.K. We noticed the sea of presents under people’s Christmas trees and we couldn’t help but think that all the buying at this time was so excessive. For me this time of year has never been about having the best dressed tree or dashing around the shops buying multiple gifts. I wonder if people even think about why they exchange gifts? Not many people will link the practice to the three wise men! And where’s the wisdom in maxing out credit cards and buying all this stuff to say to someone that you care about them?

This year we had our usual Cape Christmas planned. During Christmas week we get our twisted wire tree out of the garage. We adorn it with our eclectic selection of decorations, all bought in the Middle East, Kenya and Indonesia, many recycled from flip flops and old gin and tonic cans. Typically we would start the day with breakfast and chilled Cape bubbles, maybe on the beach, enjoy a big braai in the afternoon and finish with lots of Amaru-la-la. It’s not fancy but it’s our perfect Cape Christmas day.

That was the plan. Then something unimaginable happened.

Last weekend we received the news that my dad had been admitted into hospital with suspected kidney failure. The next day we got an e mail saying that my father in law had suffered a stroke at the wheel, while driving on the motorway. Both our dads were in intensive care.

When you get news like that, after your heart sinks, you make a plan. You sort tickets and you go.

I’m writing this on the plane. My body is already ‘lagging’, not really knowing which time zone I’m in. My mind is racing. My eyes are red from lack of sleep, flying, crying.

So this Christmas there will be no kopje. The Mother City will have to wait. This year is about family.

We won’t be buying gifts, buying into the commercialism of it all. None of us need more stuff. The greatest gift this Christmas will be the time that we share together. It will be a time to slow down, disconnect from e mails and reconnect with those who are right in front of us.

So, my Christmas wish? All I want for Christmas is time with our family. And maybe just a little bit of mistletoe!

© Maggie M / Mother City Time