The Act of Giving
What you give, you get ten times over
– Youraba proverb
Our first bit of travelling together was in Southern Africa while we were working for a charity.
When it comes to aid, governments can or will only do so much. That’s where charities and NGOs come in; non-profit organisations, who rely on many voluntary workers to empower and help others.
Cynics will argue that all of this will take responsibility away from governments. But the bottom line is, that there are people everywhere who need help. It takes a hard heart to ignore that.
Our generation in U.K is labelled ‘the Children of Thatcher’. We were kids when she came to power, and adults by the time she was gone. Much like marmite, you either loved her or loathed her.
In 80s Britain she lectured us all to ‘pull yourselves up by your bootstraps’. Everyone wanted ‘loads-a-money’ and the nation became obsessed with self advancement.
Our generation became defined by our homes, our clothes, our cars. We were not.
Most people around us were rushing to get ahead in their careers. We chose instead to SLOW down. Earning vast amounts of money was not our priority.
We decided to volunteer our personal and professional skills as both travellers and educators. We could see the value of giving your time and expertise, versus simply ticking the box of a direct debit order and donating money to a charity. What’s your experience of working with charities or NGOs?
After interviews, assessments and training, the head office in London matched our skills to a request for two lecturers at a teachers’ college in a provincial capital in NW Zambia. We were excited to get the opportunity to live and work in Southern Africa.
VSO is the largest charitable organization in the world and it works with NGOs and organisations in many countries across Asia, Africa and the Pacific. Placements are typically 1-2 years. Their slogan and ethos was “Sharing skills, changing lives”, with the emphasis on sustainability. It was not about our growth; it was about the development of the community that we found ourselves in.
You hear so many celebrities talking about ‘giving back’; amassing their wealth and then, after reaching the top of their game, thinking of others. Instead, we ‘gave forward’.
Years later, I remember a pastor’s daughter asking me quizzically “but what made you volunteer your time?” She couldn’t quite understand our motivation. No, we were not missionaries. We were not religious. But we were committed to helping people.
In truth we had very little to give up; A leased car, a damp, rented flat and for me, an hourly paid job as an undergraduate college lecturer. It was easy to walk away from all of that. We said goodbye to our families, friends and all that was familiar. That was harder to do.
We went. And it changed everything.
It’s funny to remember that the local kids in the town would often call out to us, “Mzungu, give me money”. The truth was, we were walking around in that bush town with very little money in our pockets. It was the least money that we ever earned (US 200 per month) and the best job that we ever had.
But here’s the interesting thing; When you take money out of the equation, a job becomes an emotional investment. Our work was fulfilling. We believed in what we were doing. We wanted to go into work everyday.
And the trainee teachers wanted us there too. When I got malaria, my students came to our house to check on me. They all politely stood in the garden, enquiring about my health and apologizing for my illness. One of them asked “When will you come back to teach us? When will we learn again Madam?”
It was refreshing to slow down and to be in a community where everything was about the people; people over profit, the community first, then work.
So why were we sent there? Life expectancy in Zambia was about 37 years at the time (2001). The Ministry of Education was losing countless qualified, educated professionals to HIV and they couldn’t train new ones fast enough. That was a sobering statistic for us. Long term, the experience made us value our life and create opportunities to make it great. To enjoy.
As advised, we worked hard, we observed, and after about six months we had identified people who we could work with to affect positive change.
We quickly noticed some big differences in attitudes compared to what we had left behind in the ‘developed’ west. Our female colleagues were entitled to book a ‘Mother’s day’ each month. The thinking here was, if you needed to be with your child, you could take a day of leave, a parent’s personal day. Every month!
Funerals were also a little different. When a colleague died, the college would close. ‘Business as usual’ was not the modus operandi. We didn’t send flowers or a sympathy card. Instead, all of us would go to pay respects to the grieving family at their house. All would contribute to funeral expenses. We came together to offer practical and emotional support.
Living in a rural town in N.W Zambia was an experience that shaped the rest of our lives – we just didn’t know it at the time!
When we returned to our home country we were initially disillusioned. We were left questioning the effectiveness of ‘development’. We experienced reverse culture shock. It took time for us to grasp what we had done and what had been achieved.
We received many aerograms and hand written letters from our trainee teachers. I appreciated with each and every one, the effort it had taken to send it and could picture that walk to the post office that we had done so many times…three kilometers of dusty track in the raging heat, until you reached the main road and then, some time later, ‘the boma’ or centre of town.
Then you would queue to buy a stamp, post that handwritten letter and hope that it would reach its destination, always a leap of faith.
The most powerful letter still stays with me from a beautiful young teacher called Linda. She revealed to me about an illness that she’d had, which resulted in having her leg amputated. She didn’t complain, she just reported it, matter of fact. And she stated how much I had inspired her; how all she wanted to do was to go on with her life as planned and work as an Educator.
She had held on to my message, the message to all the young women at that time; get a profession, remain independent, be committed to the development of yourself, to your community and to your country.
Most of the time we got on with our jobs. We tried to be positive role models in terms of our own behavior; Professional, compassionate, capable, equitable.
We raised funds for community projects.
We gave.
And the experience gave back to us. We met countless people in those two years and made lifelong friendships. We share memories of a unique time in our lives.
We learned so many lessons through that experience; patience, problem-solving, budgeting, repurposing and resilience.
We honed communication skills with a wide range of people; Officials, market traders, politicians, NGO workers, tribal chiefs and priests.
We were treated as ambassadors of our country and invited to events like celebrating the Queen’s birthday at the High Commissioner’s residence in Lusaka. There we mingled merrily with members of the British consulate, the High Commissioner, his wife and a Barotse King.
We learned to make a plan when you didn’t have the resources that you needed to get the job done.
Those skills stay with you forever.
Life for us in Zambia was SLOW. We learned that rushing to complete everything on a to-do list was not the be-all and end-all. We slowed down and made time to talk to our colleagues. We cooked things from scratch. If you wanted a pizza you didn’t dial-a-delivery, you made it; the base, the toppings, the lot.
We were time rich. We wrote long letters. We had an opportunity to reflect.
We looked at many so called ‘first world problems’, long before memes starting calling them that, and our experience of life in Zambia gave us a new outlook on so many aspects of life.
“Sharing skills, changing lives”, changed so much for us too. It shifted our priorities. It altered our perspective.
I’m glad that we did what we did, when we did. It set the tone for the years to come.
And it took us to Southern Africa.
Have you travelled to work with charities or NGOs? What did that experience give to you?
© Maggie M / Mother City Time
Simply amazed with your looks first and then the work. Keep growing as a human being
Innoventures ‘GIVE’ Nepal Trek
Feb 9-15th 2018
Article posted on behalf of my student
It’s seldom that you ever get a chance to genuinely say that you’ve managed to make a difference in the lives of hundreds, who’ve never had the opportunity to education and literacy. It’s the most beautiful and surreal feeling knowing that by empowering rural communities to build quality school structures in their own villages, we’re breaking the cycle of illiteracy across the world.
Nepal has been an experience of a lifetime. Being able to work alongside BuildON, Dubai Cares and Innoventures ‘GIVE’ foundation to provide education and build a school in the village of HatKholi, Nepal has been a magical and inspiring journey.
Education is a powerful tool and the need for it in developing countries is immense. I had the opportunity to go to one of the most deprived and backward villages where I built a school for a generation who’d have almost lost hope for a better future. With girls getting married at the ages of 10-15 and dropping out of school by 8th grade, a place where economic and financial struggle crumbles families apart, where people are deprived of their human right to education simply because of the lack of availability of schools and funds to be able to afford the fees, a place where the entire village would contribute half their income to be able to send just one member to the city to earn a living and escape poverty.
Growing up in a hi-tech city like Dubai where everything is at ease, we become insensitive to the suffering some people around the world face every single day of their lives. There are children out there who walk 2-3 hours every day just to be able to enter a school, which half of us take for granted. In an age like this, the call for unity and giving is crucial.
I had the opportunity to live alongside these very people in their huts, share their limited rations and food, experience their practices, rituals and culture and get an insight into their lifestyle and mentality. It’s been a very eye-opening and humbling experience for me. These people who literally have nothing are willing to give, and we the people who have everything at times become hesitant even to share a small portion. The love and the kindness I received from strangers who I can now call family, is unparalleled.
After completing my trek with BuildOn, Dubai Cares and GIVE, I can proudly say that I’ve managed to make a difference and touch the hearts of many. I never truly understood the impact one can have when they give to those in need until on my last day in HatKholi, tears filled up in the eyes of people who didn’t even know me, just because their child can now go to school and perhaps escape poverty.
If I could say anything to my readers, it is that some people around the world are in desperate need and it is your duty as a member of our world to give and to share. Love in action is service to the world and I promise you, no amount of money or materialism can top the feeling you get when you see the smile on a child’s face who can now go to school because of you. Our individual lifetime is only limited, but what you leave behind will stay for those to come, forever.
Thanks Shweta. Well, it was 17 years ago! Keep enjoying Mother City Time
Steph, thanks for sharing this heartfelt account. Without doubt, education is the key, in every country across the world. It sounds like you gave a lot on the project in Nepal and it gave back to you. And it stays with you. Usually with work, when we move on,our job gets relegated to the history of a CV. Volunteering is so different. What you did had real, lasting impact. And that’s an achievement.
While I have not worked in an NGO, I have worked abroad as a Fulbright Teacher, a goodwill ambassador for the US State Department, and as an international teacher. I have always felt that in that capacity I am a representative for my country, for better or worse. As a citizen of the First World, when visiting or working in the Second or Third World I am perceived as a privileged individual–and indeed, in comparison to the rest of the world, I am. I think my experiences have helped me see the flaws in my native country, but also given me a great appreciation for all that I have because I was lucky enough to have been born there. Thank you, Magpie, for your insights into the value of giving your time to the world around you.
Volunteer work or having a job in that field is very demanding financially and emotionally. However, the resulting happiness from making another person’s life better is beyond words. It is one of the most humbling experiences you can have as you go through the hurdles that many people face daily in life. People express pity and sorrow for the ones whose lives are damaged by social or natural disasters, but what action do they take to change that? A person’s misfortune is not simply a matter for conversation. It is an issue that needs to be solved, a hurdle that needs to be crossed. They cannot do it alone, for their lack of resources, so it is our help they need. Even if it is in the smallest ways. Education, shelter, clean water and food, well-paying jobs, better sanitation and health care are all the resources millions in the world lack. And without obtaining these, they are stuck in a vicious cycle of their bad circumstances. Therefore, work like this pushes us in the path of change. Change being, healthy and happy living circumstances for those who do not have it right now.
Education is a key resource, a fortune that many of us are blessed with but what most of us do not value. A teacher is one who helps shape the foundation of morality, knowledge and ethics in a student’s life. Personally, I couldn’t be more grateful towards all those teachers who have put into time and effort into helping me become a better person, given me advice on academics and my social life outside school. I can understand why those women and men you had trained wanted to get back to you. It is because the people who share compassion and knowledge with you are those you associate with hope and kindness. I am glad your trainees had seen that in you and Pak K. It is exceptional work you have done Ibu and I hope I am able to share my compassion and knowledge with others someday, just as you have.
Very inspiring! Really hope to be able to give more throughout my entire life as you have done because I do find joy in giving 🙂
I can only agree and feel exactly the same. My two years in the Peace Corps still remain the best professional years of my life and in many ways, the most enriching and inspiring as a human being. Thank you for telling it all so well.
There were many Peace Corps workers in Zambia at the time. They contributed to so many important projects in the community, it’s such important work worldwide. You can feel proud of being part of that. Thanks for following Mother City Time Laure.
Thanks Regina. There are so many valuable projects to get involved in. You have many skills to share. Do it!
Working as a Fulbright Teacher, a goodwill ambassador for the US State Department, and as an international teacher are all important roles, all uplifting students in some way. And you are right, working in other countries means one see the flaws your native country…the next post is about that! Thank you for your comments. Keep enjoying Mother City Time.
Thanks so much for your response Aarya. People everywhere face so many difficulties. We have to ask ourselves, when are we in a position to help. One of the biggest problems, is that there is so much need, ‘a bottomless pit of need’. Where do we start? Maybe you have seen the film ‘A Constant Gardener’. Leaving the hospital, the Tessa character sees people she knows walking and says to her husband, “let’s stop and give them a lift, they have so far to walk…We can help them”. Perhaps that is the way forward. Find a person or a project to support. Start somewhere! Our world is becomming increasingly divided and people are looking inwards, becoming more parochial and ‘looking after their own’. But we must look out and see that we all have more similarities than differencecs. We all need access to Education, shelter, clean water and food, jobs, sanitation and health care. Yes, Education is key. It all starts there. So many global issues would be addressed if every child everywhere had access to a good education. We have valued our work as educators, even if to a large extent society doesn’t appreciate it. Why does a footballer or a corporate fat cat earn more in a bonus than a teacher does in a year? It doesn’t make sense! But it’s o.k. Teachers everywhere, working at any level, can recognise that what they do has real value. It’s an honest profession. You never exploit. You work to uplift and support. Some, like you, will get that. Thanks for your kind words. Stay who you are Aarya. Our world needs more compassionate people.
To be honest, after reading your post., I don’t know what to say. I had absolutely no idea that you and Kieran had worked with NGOs and did so much for people. Funny how you get to know people only years after you last saw them. I honestly thought the post was brilliant. In delivery and in content. I’m going to forward it to mom. Her studies and first few jobs were actually social work too, but in India. There isn’t much I can say besides me really enjoying it. I think it points to some really important things that my generation just has not grasped. I love the fast paced life at the UN but what you described just seems so much more organic and natural. And I really love how you described the entirely different dynamic of human interaction over there. These would seem to be such outlandish ideals in the west, yet I feel that’s the way human interaction must play out. I always felt in my time in America that was always an unspoken gap between people, and even between families. One that was almost nonexistent in the east (referring to how the entire college would close for a funeral).
“Our generation became defined by our homes, our clothes, our cars.” Its such a sad fucking reality. With all the friends I know, I seem to be the only one who isn’t chasing money and it honestly gets lonely when you see that this cancerous desire for money is so widespead that its almost seen as part of the human condition now. Its a mystery to me. It really is.
I really hope I work on the field as y’all have. I’ve actually been applying to a bunch of positions with the UNHCR and others. High hardship settings but I’m going to have to get used to it at some point. What is VSO by the way?
When you take money out of the equation, a job becomes an emotional investment. Our work was fulfilling. We believed in what we were doing. We wanted to go into work everyday.” This. So many times. While my current job isn’t really humanitarian related, I have never been so fulfilled with my job as I am with this one. I come back home at 9pm on somedays with a smile on my face or humming a tune, even though I get paid approximately $0 every month. I can only imagine how emotionally and spiritually fulfilling it must be to work with people and help people face to face. That, for me, is real wealth. Everything else is fluff. It’s the reason I want to work with refugees. Begs the question though, how must it have made you and Kieran feel teaching a bunch of spoiled brats at EIS?
“When we returned to our home country we were initially disillusioned. We were left questioning the effectiveness of ‘development’. We experienced reverse culture shock. It took time for us to grasp what we had done and what had been achieved.” This for me is probably the most intriguing paragraph. I’d love to know more! Why did you question development? I don’t think I understood right. What was the reverse culture shock like?
BTW just saying, your blog is fucking amazing. I’m going to take the time to read some more articles after I’ve gotten a little more sleep.
To be honest, after reading your post., I don’t know what to say. I had absolutely no idea that you and Kieran had worked with NGOs and did so much for people. Funny how you get to know people only years after you last saw them. I honestly thought the post was brilliant. In delivery and in content. There isn’t much I can say besides me really enjoying it. I think it points to some really important things that my generation just has not grasped. I love the fast paced life at the UN but what you described just seems so much more organic and natural. And I really love how you described the entirely different dynamic of human interaction over there. These would seem to be such outlandish ideals in the west, yet I feel that’s the way human interaction must play out. I always felt in my time in America that was always an unspoken gap between people, and even between families. One that was almost nonexistent in the east (referring to how the entire college would close for a funeral).
“Our generation became defined by our homes, our clothes, our cars.” Its such a sad f***ing reality. With all the friends I know, I seem to be the only one who isn’t chasing money and it honestly gets lonely when you see that this cancerous desire for money is so widespead that its almost seen as part of the human condition now. Its a mystery to me. It really is.
I really hope I work on the field as yall have. I’ve actually been applying to a bunch of positions with the UNHCR and others. High hardship settings but I’m going to have to get used to it at some point. What is VSO by the way?
When you take money out of the equation, a job becomes an emotional investment. Our work was fulfilling. We believed in what we were doing. We wanted to go into work everyday.” This. So many times. While my current job isn’t really humanitarian related, I have never been so fulfilled with my job as I am with this one. I come back home at 9pm on somedays with a smile on my face or humming a tune, even though I get paid approximately $0 every month. I can only imagine how emotionally and spiritually fulfilling it must be to work with people and help people face to face. That, for me, is real wealth. Everything else is fluff. It’s the reason I want to work with refugees. Begs the question though, how must it have made you and Kieran feel teaching a bunch of spoiled brats at EIS?
“When we returned to our home country we were initially disillusioned. We were left questioning the effectiveness of ‘development’. We experienced reverse culture shock. It took time for us to grasp what we had done and what had been achieved.” This for me is probably the most intriguing paragraph. I’d love to know more! Why did you question development? I don’t think I understood right. What was the reverse culture shock like?
Btw just saying, your blog is amazing. I’m going to take the time to read some more articles after I’ve gotten a little more sleep.
Thanks so much for your comments Jamsheed. It’s always great to hear from former students. We enjoyed working with all of you. One of the many reasons that we got involved in leading the International Award expeditions was because of our work with VSO (Volunteer Services Overseas) https://www.vsointernational.org/
I think in fairness that there’s a lot telling young people to go after the jobs with the fancy title, the designer handbags, the sports car, the big house, the bigger house…sometimes it’s even our own parents. The conditioning is strong.
What if we say, but I don’t want to chase that stuff, I’m not bothered about my position in a corporation, I’m not defined by the job or the stuff. It’s challenging, right? And sure as hell, companies don’t want young people to think this way.
Better to get people towing the line, getting in debt, borrowing money for homes and cars, then bigger homes and bigger cars. It’s all such total BS. We have always wanted more!
Be the only one who isn’t chasing money Jamsheed, it’s o.k. You are right, the insatiable desire for money is cancerous and you will meet numerous vacuous people along the way. We have this conversation all the time. Our conclusion, only ours is, we just want enough. We are not bothered about having riches. We want to live richly.
I laughed when you said ‘Everything else is fluff’. It sounds like something I would say. And you are spot on. The business world is run on fluff and nonsense and people chasing fluff and nonsense. Dare to aspire to more!
DXB did us a big favour early on. We valued our roles as Educators. We sought out opportunities via CAS and the International Award to give our time to important initiatives. And we looked around us, at the ‘smoke and mirrors’, the hummers and designer shops, at the fluff as you say, it it affirmed for us what we didn’t want!
Good luck with the UNHCR and other agencies. It’s such worthwhile work. We have just had a meeting with the Second Advisor to the UN of Afghanistan and our school hosted 133 refugees from Afghanistan, South Sudan, Iraq and Syria in conjunction with the UNHCR. How fantastic for everyone! It has been a great reminder to us of the value of giving help.
We know the impact that those two years in Southern Africa had on us. We know fantastic people who have dedicated their whole working lives to humanitarian related work. It’s never about the money. If you get to work in a similar field, you are lucky.
Look out for the next post. It will answer your other questions on reverse culture shock!
Keep enjoying Mother City Time!
Giving and receiving participate so much to the same equation of life. Thank you so much for putting in eloquent words the meaningful act of giving. It does make one feel more connected to the world when we help one another: in any shapes or forms. I am looking forward to reading more of your wise words.
Thank you Nadia for your comments. You are right, it’s part of the same equation of life. We all need help sometimes. Compassion is part of our everyday experience of being human.
Keep enjoying Mother City Time!
Wow, what an amazing experience! Indeed, satisfaction in life only comes when you make a difference in the community, in someone’s life. And when you look back at what you gave, your time, service, compassion, you feel so happy for you have made a positive impact in a community. Your time and service you rendered to people in all places you’ve been to, will forever be cherished, not only by you, but by all lives you touched. I love the post!!
Esther, thank you. It was an amazing experience. It stays with us even now. The biggest satisfaction both professionally and personally has always been making a difference in someone’s life. We met so many great people in Zambia, as well as some great Zambians outside Zambia! So glad you enjoyed reading it. Keep enjoying Mother City Time.
Happy birthday Aarya from the Mother City! Wishing you happiness always.
P.S We share a birthday!
I had the pleasure of Meeting Maggie when I was going to Burkina to see family. Over the years we have kept in touch and lived vicariously through her as she traveled the world. It’s great to see people in their own way making a positive impact in the lives of people around the world. I was born in Burkina Faso and have always maintained my ties to the country. My brother and I wanted to give back in an impactful way that will change the trajectory of the children’s future, so, along with some friends we started a organization to assist the school in our ancestral village by bringing technology to the rural villages. This is just a pilot program that we hope to replicate in Burkina Faso as well as other countries in Africa. Friends of Guirgho hopes one day collaborate with Maggie. Please check out our website http://www.friendsofguirgho.org and read more about our mission and make a donation and share the information, no donation is too small. Thank you
Hi Victor. Sometimes we meet great people when we travel. It was a pleasure meeting you in Burkina Faso all those years ago. I have good memories of attending FESPACO, and Ouagadougou is such a great city. I’m delighted to have stayed in touch and it’s fantastic to see the work that being done by the Friends of Guirgho organisation. This work has such value. Through Education the community will be empowered for years to come. So excited to find out more as this pilot program develops and happy to help in any way possible. I would urge anyone involved in PYP/MYP projects or those in corporate (CSR) roles, to look at the brilliant work being done here and get involved http://www.friendsofguirgho.org