Travel

Love and Affection

Love has to be shown by deeds not words

~ Swahili proverb

 

On February 1st I received an e mail declaring ‘It’s A Month of Love’! It’s no longer a day, it’s a whole month! The company was offering ‘Sweet February deals’ so we could ’shop smarter’ and get 15% off groceries. I got another e mail the same week from a hotel, the subject: ‘Will you be our Valentine?’ Yes, the so called, most romantic day of the year is upon us.

In many countries the build up started last year. Cards were out on display as soon as Christmas clutter was cleared off the shelves!

For some people, Valentine’s Day will be an excuse to travel, taking romantic weekends in Paris, Venice or Prague. Many will jet their lovers off to far flung places, demonstrative gestures of love.

There are all sorts of ‘show your love’ experiences being advertised everywhere. Apart from all the usual candlelit dinners and red roses, some businesses are going all out to offer unique experiences to ‘show you care’.

I came across one travel company offering a trip to a temple, claiming that ‘Love can blossom after a purification’. Apparently, couples should go to the Tirta Empul water temple in Bali, to cleanse and revitalize their love life. Some believe that the water inside these pools has magical powers.

You could jet off to Japan where Valentine’s Day looks a little different to many other places. There women give gifts to men, a tradition that dates back to the 50s. Previously female ‘kokuhaku’, ‘love confessions’, were not really acceptable for women. So a day was created where women could say how they truly feel and declare their love.

Things continue with Giri-choco, an act of giving that could be called ‘obligation chocolate’. Chocolate is given to everyone, family, friends even your boss! Confectionery sales skyrocket!

Various romantic places to spend Valentine’s Day are marketed; hot and steamy onsens (natural hot springs), luxury hotels where you can gaze lovingly at Mt Fuji and each other, or staycations in the capital, Tokyo. And of course there are the ‘love hotels’, where you can book a rest (per hour) or a stay (over-night) for your ‘private time’.

Where will you be travelling for Valentine’s Day?

Perhaps when you go you will see the padlocks. It’s a fairly recent trend coined ‘the love locks ritual’

Couples travel somewhere and fix a padlock to a bridge. The custom suggests that the lovers will ‘cement their love’ with the lock, when they throw the key away into a nearby river. Supposedly their love will now be unbreakable. The lock, representative of their love, is on display for all to see.

This craze has been sweeping across the world. Have you seen it?

Some would argue that this recent practice is good for tourism, drawing couples to cities who make a beeline for ‘our bridge’. Others argue that the padlocks are a hindrance, an eyesore and potentially dangerous if adding too much weight to the bridge. What do you think? Romantic gesture or total tosh?

Of course businesses are quick to cash in and, as well as selling the locks, will offer services such as engraving (“please remember to pre-order your padlock”) and lock ‘ceremonies’, combined with candlelit meals for two.

All around the world lovers will be booking special gala dinners. ‘What’s on’ guides published ‘where to take your date on V day’ weeks ago. We’re invited to ‘feel the love’.

Cards will be purchased. Gifts will be exchanged.

For many that will be kitsch, love heart shaped chocolate boxes, garish balloons, predictable red roses, showy silk scarves and a whole host of other tawdry toot that no one really needs. Superfluous stuff.

There will be an upsurge of ‘made in China teddy bears’ across the globe; A bit like a zombie apocalypse but with fluff. For the super rich, Valentine’s presents might be swanky super-yachts, magnificent manicures or dazzling diamonds.

For some it’s important, the spectacle of hearts and flowers, the lavish dinners and the serenades. And forget it at your peril. In truth, none of us need any of it. It’s mania! So how do we escape the rampant commercialism of Valentine’s Day?

Over the years I have tried two tactics. The first is mercilessly taking the mickey out of it all.

While at university, my flat-mate and I staged a perfect Valentine’s Day dinner with our ‘ideal men’; two, 6 foot men made from cardboard. We cooked a fancy dinner, far more elaborate than the usual beans on toast supper we enjoyed as students, gaffer-taped our men to the dining chairs and shared a candlelit dinner. They were very well behaved dates! My flat-mate and myself, less so!

A few years ago my husband and I hosted a very tongue in cheek Valentines party, basically poking fun at the whole thing, with silly games and tacky love heart shaped prizes.

So yes, we can make fun of it all. Or we could celebrate it. Or we could choose to simply ignore the day altogether.

We definitely don’t make a fuss about Valentine’s Day. I subscribe to the thinking that if you are in a relationship, you should show each other kindness every day. Surely it’s how you treat each other that matters, not the stuff that you buy.

And what what about those who are not ‘loved up’ this Valentine’s Day?

One approach might be to stop, slow down, disconnect from your devices and reconnect with the person in front of you, a close friend, a sibling, a neighbor. The day could be an opportunity to celebrate the people in your life who you truly love.

So, how about a bit of originality this year? What will you do this Valentines Day?

 

© Maggie M / Mother City Time

 

 

 

Charles bridge – Prague

image © Heather Ullyott